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Bear (Almost) Attacks Man


there was a glendale bear attack of
local a_b_c_ station covered the story it was fascinating apparently this out
there traveled all the weight loss the setup and he really attacked nervion
gentlemen videos excellent let’s watch lives nearby that man that you saw that any of this morning
running when you were texting describes let’s
take the one hand and what was going to work uh… elected brought up this morning from that helicopter noise and i was playing to
see what was going on i came out that i knew it was something
going on trying to assess the situation arrest texting my bus dot i recollect
homework something is going on and then coming down the stairs and i said it’s not clear
about this this towards me slight tristar and dot damage to the telling my boss students
landed reform at least that policy all that with the wind and their chances you but i guess you have to be prepared in the times
that there can one of two anytime principle remains that at that particular reasons
first of all how amazingly quickie is right physically australia not also satellite pastel so mentally brightness
it allowed for my mind to process of about to run into a bear but it’s also
rare things that he thought that i can find
something i’d like to wait a minute is out of a really good to me if you
think now i hear you uh… is so i loved him saying like it’s a good
thing i prepare for america did you read like ten feet major reading your half
still to come and that involvement but i guess you’d have a quick reaction time but he could react to it quicker if you
listen to external bases and go to do a group lives safe not in the states that other argue
that if you didn’t look up like that we’ve done stories about like
people texting in the wall and then they fall into a fountain because they’re
just not paying attention right away if you literally went about their use something really bad happened know that there was some stuffs i’ll he
was never heard anything you don’t know that created by the way you know habits
of national party the view speeches here in california because it there’s no
national park about what you’re supposed to advance
and you’re not supposed to run away useful so uh… played at okay and then the only panic if he liked
ones of crunching your neck okay but otherwise for tenured at any of
the play around with you a little bit you’ll be all right nonsense run for their lives he got a lot of areas of interest and
ride an address i will add market i don’t think that’s like anecdotal
evidence like and share it with the best thing it is a
played and i don’t know if i could do it myself speaking but there’s no way i would like for you
that and have their criteria anak that if that’s the first time

David Frank

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100 COMMENTS

  1. CraniumOnEmpty Posted on April 16, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    Don't text and walk. You might get mauled by a bear. This has been a public service announcement. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

    Reply
  2. Zentz29 Posted on April 16, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    LOL
    Fuck it…
    I'm gonna have me some hair of the dog. I'd rather be drunk at 3:30 than feel like shit.
    I'm doing it for myself, AND those who love me!
    =p

    Reply
  3. cooperwick Posted on April 16, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    hes russian.

    Reply
  4. yukonr Posted on April 16, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    lol bender had to drink or he would get rusty lol but i guess the same could be said for humans only a different kind of rusty lmao

    Reply
  5. Gacha Galàxy Posted on April 16, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    sounds like he's missing testicles or he's on helium.

    Reply
  6. Zentz29 Posted on April 16, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    I don't remember that episode…
    I'm gonna have to get on netflix & see if I can find it.
    I thought I saw them all.

    Reply
  7. yukonr Posted on April 16, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    lol i can't remember what season it was but couldn't be for that the 5th i'm pretty sure it was on before it was cancelled (end of 4th season) i'll try google it for the episode number

    Reply
  8. yukonr Posted on April 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    lol it was the 3rd episode season one titled I, Roommate

    Reply
  9. insertnamehereKJK Posted on April 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    I've heard of teenage girls who died after being confronted by a bear.

    Instead of running away, they tweeted "LOL, being attacked by a bear #dead"

    Reply
  10. The8347135 Posted on April 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    born in LA. And she is a russian armenian?? Who's the idiot?

    Reply
  11. Zentz29 Posted on April 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

    I already looked it up.
    It's Ep. 3, Season 1 – "I, Roommate"…I think.

    Reply
  12. Zentz29 Posted on April 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

    Oh!
    Yep…that must be it then. I know I've seen it…Just don't remember.
    Thanks anyway! 🙂

    Reply
  13. yukonr Posted on April 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

    np found it at "futurama wiki" shit i think i'm gonna look for the episode titled "spanish fry" its the one where fry looks for bigfoot and wakes up with no nose lol

    Reply
  14. spankymcflych Posted on April 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    Play dead is old school. Not supposed to do that anymore. Not supposed to run either. Remain calm, maintain eye contact, back away slowly.

    Reply
  15. Justin VantFoort Posted on April 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

    Play dead!! Who came up with that idea?? Perhaps it was THE BEARS!!!

    Reply
  16. scrubjay93 Posted on April 16, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    Ana, trust me, you would run. You wouldn't have a choice–your instincts will have you running before the message gets to your brain that the big black fuzzy thing is a bear.

    Reply
  17. Luke Christie Posted on April 16, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    Wacikula!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  18. JohnWoo Posted on April 16, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    Bullshit. The bear did not try to attack the man.

    Reply
  19. TheShyRage Posted on April 16, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    I wonder what the bear was thinking when it saw some random dude walking up to it :3

    Reply
  20. MsThemuh Posted on April 16, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    First off if you run from any predator (well at least dogs) its instinct will kick in an start chasing you. So just move away slowly. Don't run, It may think your its next meal.

    Reply
  21. BillyWitchDoctor Posted on April 16, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    The reason for all the bear attacks? Immagents.

    Reply
  22. Vurdox Posted on April 16, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    for a second I thought this was TheOnion…

    Reply
  23. BarbaraJD Posted on April 16, 2012 at 11:05 pm

    Play Dead?? Old husband's tale. I go deep into a national park almost every summer. Playing dead is a TERRIBLE idea. This is what I was told by rangers – If you see a bear, back away slowly facing the bear until you are out of sight, them turn around & leave the area. If it sees you & becomes threatening (snorting & pawing), make as much noise as possible to scare it away. I carry what's called a "bear banger" that makes a loud noise. If it attacks (rare), fight like hell.

    Reply
  24. LordofAnnoyence Posted on April 16, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    Dwight Schrute approves this message

    Reply
  25. MALIRIPPA Posted on April 16, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    try to pronounce that guys last name on the first try. yea pretty hard lol

    Reply
  26. BlacktailXD Posted on April 16, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    She's mentioned that she's Armenian a few times on the show…

    Reply
  27. redryan20000 Posted on April 16, 2012 at 11:26 pm

    TYT fail once again

    Reply
  28. stalkerangel96 Posted on April 16, 2012 at 11:34 pm

    He bear-ly escaped!

    Reply
  29. BorgKing001 Posted on April 16, 2012 at 11:38 pm

    a bear will wake your ass up in the morning

    Reply
  30. Billy Bob Posted on April 16, 2012 at 11:52 pm

    the beer almost caught up with him

    Reply
  31. Billy Bob Posted on April 16, 2012 at 11:54 pm

    NONSENSE!!! If you run into a bear in a national park, you are supposed to hug and kiss him, and only then he will leave you alone. It works for me every time. If you try to back away, the bear might think that you dont wanna hug him, and will get offended and rip your head off

    Reply
  32. jarinthemood2000 Posted on April 17, 2012 at 12:13 am

    The guy ran because he thought he saw George Zimmerman.

    Reply
  33. Andrew Posted on April 17, 2012 at 12:52 am

    black bears you are suppose to scare away, grizzly and polar bears you play dead so it is easier for them to eat you and koala bears you pick up and hug to death to protect yourself

    Reply
  34. Eraserheaddf Posted on April 17, 2012 at 12:58 am

    He's lucky he got away. Things could have gotten grizzly.

    Reply
  35. Nathan McCarthy Posted on April 17, 2012 at 1:05 am

    I wouldnt have frozen, I see bear, I run LOL think later haha

    Reply
  36. kwatson813 Posted on April 17, 2012 at 1:09 am

    I love how dude as just walking along then he sees the bear and left vapor trails he ran so fast.

    Reply
  37. Eugen Afanasjev Posted on April 17, 2012 at 1:35 am

    I don't know much about bears, but one thing i know: never run away "hollywood style".
    I.e. don't try to run from bears, dogs and cars on an open the road, they are faster then you.

    Reply
  38. MrSockoOck Posted on April 17, 2012 at 2:15 am

    I have had encounters with more aggressive Jack Russels on the street than that bear. He was enjoying a beary nice stroll through the neighbearhood.

    Reply
  39. SharpWanker Posted on April 17, 2012 at 2:22 am

    Lol he still sounds scared

    Reply
  40. Whateveridontcaremeh Posted on April 17, 2012 at 2:33 am

    Before this his voice was very manly

    Reply
  41. MythicEpitaph Posted on April 17, 2012 at 2:45 am

    Some of the puns are HILARIOUS in comments today lol.

    Reply
  42. Dimmed Diamond Posted on April 17, 2012 at 2:47 am

    There was no attack. Guy saw a bear, ran, the bear just sat there.

    Reply
  43. DameunPutazo Posted on April 17, 2012 at 3:24 am

    LOL "… the bear traveled all the way to La Crescenta"

    I'm just gonna make the best of that and assume the bear got in his car and jumped on the 210 to get there.

    Reply
  44. smesliknirvana93 Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:06 am

    the liberal war on texting

    Reply
  45. FengxianLeTerrible Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:23 am

    lol what a jackass

    Reply
  46. dominsu Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:23 am

    Brown bears are fairly docile, I doubt the bear would have done much besides run off.

    Reply
  47. brianc620 Posted on April 17, 2012 at 6:30 am

    Ana with the "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT MAN!"

    Reply
  48. acidbasesalt Posted on April 17, 2012 at 6:39 am

    Jon Stewart: "The bias in the mainstream media is towards sensationalism, conflict, and LAZINESS."

    From his interview with Chris Wallace.

    Reply
  49. ezekielthemack Posted on April 17, 2012 at 8:47 am

    Why is the "victim" always WHITE DUMB AND MALE???!!! lol x 100

    Reply
  50. ◢ IBYM ◤ Posted on April 17, 2012 at 11:27 am

    We need a bear tax! Blame the immigants.

    Reply
  51. Doomwiggle Posted on April 17, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    Deep in the night
    When the Wizards unite
    Elves enveloped in loins
    This mystical bear
    Who once was so fair
    Will give you no magical coins

    Reply
  52. BlackMambakins Posted on April 17, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    <<< WHACKS the shit out of the bear… IN The face… and says
    You mysthical bear
    Your are not fair
    You ate all my magical coins
    I could follow you around
    Till you shat on the ground
    But instead…
    I will shoot you in the head
    And now you are dead…
    From you guts I GOT MY GODDAMN MAGICAL COINS… 😛

    Reply
  53. 2nd2LastSamurai Posted on April 17, 2012 at 7:24 pm

    I've been wondering for some time what Cenk's recurring "WAH-SIKTALA" (sp?) expletive is in reference to. Was that like a pro wrestling catch phrase or something?

    Reply
  54. Definitely Not Kalli Posted on April 17, 2012 at 7:37 pm

    To my understanding Waseehda is a turkish curse word, which Cenk has modified to be catchier.

    Reply
  55. 2nd2LastSamurai Posted on April 17, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    Ohhhh! That would make sense. Thanks you very much =)

    Reply
  56. jarinthemood2000 Posted on April 17, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    That's one hell of a fitness routine, see bear, RUN!!!! You will burn more calories, than doing Zumba!!

    Reply
  57. Doomwiggle Posted on April 17, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    I forgot to mention that this is the flavor text for Dead Bear.
    I'm afraid it was already dead when you shot it in the face.
    Where exactly did you get the magical coins from? not the Dear Bear, that's for sure.

    Reply
  58. Stackondat Posted on April 17, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    What it, perhaps, a black bear?

    Reply
  59. Lucho Portuano Posted on April 18, 2012 at 2:11 am

    others would have confused the bear with a big fat armenian.

    Reply
  60. Bitcoins And Blockchains Posted on April 18, 2012 at 2:18 am

    Try petting the bear. Odds are the bear will run away.

    Reply
  61. bryanchance100 Posted on April 18, 2012 at 2:18 am

    im deadly afraid of them bears…ever since i saw that documentary where this dude was living with the bears and one day they ate him.

    Reply
  62. Prka01 Posted on April 18, 2012 at 4:04 am

    Yogi punk'd his ass.

    Reply
  63. Prka01 Posted on April 18, 2012 at 4:07 am

    Why do you play dead when you encounter a bear?
    To prepare for what you will soon become.

    – Jimmy Carr

    Reply
  64. thepollywog1 Posted on April 18, 2012 at 4:29 am

    I saw a national park trailhead sign that advised, 'if its a grizly bear then play dead. Only if it starts to eat you should you fight. But, If its a brown bear always fight, because it will always try to eat you".

    Reply
  65. 2nd2LastSamurai Posted on April 18, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    Ahhh, thank you, that makes sense.

    Reply
  66. Solarfactor Posted on April 18, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    This guy's balls retracted when he saw the bear. Hence, the voice.

    Reply
  67. brotmann86 Posted on April 18, 2012 at 7:48 pm

    "we've done stories about people running into fountains while texting, right" lol

    Reply
  68. KILGAROK Posted on April 19, 2012 at 12:06 am

    U r no longer suposed to play dead. It all depends on male or female and black or grizzly. If its a female black bear protecting cubs, talk softly and back away slowly. If its a male black bear and it wants to eat u, fight back as hard as u can. Also, u should carry bear pepper spray

    Reply
  69. PrisonerOfReidsMind Posted on April 19, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    You're right there are many options… Playing dead is ONE of them though… I saw it on a bear safety program about a month ago, where they covered all the options, for any situation.
    Black bear/Grizzly bear, Curious/Assertive/Agressive, Mother w. cubs/lone male.
    If it's just protecting it's territory and/or cubs, and backing away slowly didn't work, and it attacks, then playing dead is the next option, If it thinks you're dead, then you're no longer a threat to it/it's cubs.

    Reply
  70. riner9 Posted on April 21, 2012 at 2:13 am

    The guy was living with GRIZZLIES, for what, like a year or more? He was asking for it.

    Reply
  71. KrushDaEnemy Posted on April 21, 2012 at 7:09 am

    Haha this story is hilarious and fuck that play dead shit. I never go into any forest or national park without carrying one of those industrial sized bear pepper spray guns, you know the ones they use on Occupy Wall Street Protestors. A bear wanna fuck with me, he's gonna get the horns.

    Reply
  72. Stingerbillion Posted on April 22, 2012 at 2:52 am

    Fuck playing dead, i would get the F out of there.

    Reply
  73. Sykotix1 Posted on April 22, 2012 at 9:34 pm

    Playing dead will do you no good if the bear's hungry. They happily eat dead animals too, though their diets usually consist of more plant matter than meat.

    Reply
  74. GuacamoleKun Posted on April 22, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    I always heard that if it's a black bear you're supposed to fight it and if it's a brown bear your best chance is to GTFO. I think the play-dead thing only comes into play if you know you can't outrun it.

    Reply
  75. Hyewot The Living Man Posted on April 22, 2012 at 10:09 pm

    Whoa, that guy sounded Russian. That's obviously just a normal day for him, seeing as how Russians are all just bears in people suits. He almost broke his cover and had a conversation with is bear brother. Tricky Ruskies…

    Reply
  76. waltermh111 Posted on April 22, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    Yeah, that was my thought.
    If the bear was aggressive, it would have chased him.

    Seems its not the first "encounter". I assume it doesnt have kids around, so if they stay fed it shouldnt be a danger to anybody.

    Reply
  77. BlackMambakins Posted on April 23, 2012 at 7:14 am

    That dayum bear ate my poor lil guy holding my pot of gold…. at the end of my rainbow. All that was left was his wee lil hat…

    Reply
  78. mclimoremd Posted on April 23, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    NEVER RUN or CLIMB!!! Play Dead if it's too late!! Never turn your back!! Avoid direct eye contact!! Let the bear know you see it by calmly saying "HEY BEAR" & back away SLOWLY!!! To protect children, use your coat or jacket & arms above your head to look AS BIG AS YOU CAN!!! (defend, don't charge) Avoid mothers with cubs!!! Don't hit them on the head…it pisses em off!! One of my co-workers wrestled a black bear!!! ; )

    Reply
  79. GuacamoleKun Posted on April 24, 2012 at 2:06 am

    Hmm.. even if it's, like, a really big grizzly? You just stand there?

    Reply
  80. GuacamoleKun Posted on April 24, 2012 at 4:59 am

    Look intimidating, huh? Well, I guess a grizzly wouldn't really have the information to know for sure that you're not going to leap on it and tear it apart with your giant human-claws. So thanks, I'll remember that. If I'm ever in that situation, it will be interesting to see if I can actually do it.

    Reply
  81. GuacamoleKun Posted on April 24, 2012 at 5:00 am

    (Not leap on it, of course. But stand my ground, I mean.)

    Reply
  82. rhodium1233 Posted on April 24, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Title fix: Bear (almost) ((almost)) Attacks Man

    Reply
  83. ncp9one Posted on April 26, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    why did I know it was an Armenian before I clicked the video

    Reply
  84. thricerocks Posted on April 26, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    I totally read "Beer (Almost) Attacks Man". I was so stoked for this story. T_T

    Reply
  85. Ex0dus111 Posted on May 5, 2012 at 1:13 am

    Armenian… Ana even SAID SO

    Reply
  86. De Paris Posted on May 5, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    why the guy ran ? everybody knows bears love hugs

    Reply
  87. noozi Posted on May 11, 2012 at 10:43 am

    i would have punched that bear in the face

    Reply
  88. Bloated Sensations Posted on May 16, 2012 at 5:17 am

    NEVER run from a bear – the guy in the video was lucky. You CAN NOT out run a bear – doesn't matter who you are. If you run, you can trigger a chase instinct in the bear. Playing dead isn't the best option either. In such close proximity, your best bet is to keep facing the bear and slowly and calmly backing away.

    Reply
  89. DollaramaShopper Posted on May 17, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    I wish I could use such an epic excuse to skip work.

    Reply
  90. TheRhinehart86 Posted on October 14, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    "You always have to be prepared for a bear to chase you", I bet he used to say that all through school and the other kids laughed at him. Who's laughing now ass holes? HAHAHA

    Reply
  91. J! Posted on January 25, 2013 at 2:33 am

    Bears were invented by aliens

    Reply
  92. Dan Mac Posted on February 1, 2013 at 10:02 pm

    Don't play dead with a black bear, they eat carrion. They also run quickly and climb trees. Just be loud, they run away.

    Reply
  93. TheSonOfAGunFrom410 Posted on March 27, 2013 at 9:24 am

    I've got lucky, bears attack you as soon as you start to run, you need to slowly back away. If that bear noticed him, he would not be here now.

    Reply
  94. optifog Posted on July 14, 2013 at 3:12 am

    It's true that regular exercise increases your physical and mental reaction times.

    Reply
  95. hello Posted on August 2, 2013 at 7:43 am

    There are always Bear attacks in Glendale lol

    Reply
  96. FrAnKie fRanK Posted on September 7, 2014 at 11:40 pm

    YOU SHOULDNT RUN! its very hard to fight this feeling but hes lucky the bear wasn't feeling frisky. respect the bear…whos a good boy!!!

    Reply
  97. Franchino 88 Posted on April 20, 2015 at 6:53 pm

    THANX OBAMA

    Reply
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