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Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball – Scott The Woz


Hey all! Scott here. With Valentine’s Day coming up, virginity is out of the spotlight so let’s celebrate by playing a game focused entirely on Oh s***, it’s pronounced “breasts”? I always thought it was pronounced “beans”. Street Fighter’s probably the first thing you think of when the term “fighting game” gets flung at you, but when you’re asked to think of another fighting game series, many will definitely bring up Dead or Alive. Easily one of the most beloved and iconic fighting games out there. Dead or Alive started out in the arcade as a 3D fighter inspired by Sega’s Virtua Fighter series. However, it needed something to set itself apart and to guarantee success. So director Tomonobu Itagaki decided to add a giant dab of that whole sex thing people are crazy about. Itagaki…that name sounds familiar. Well, I’ll try to remember him later. Right now, I’m more interested in beating Devil’s Third again for some f***ing reason. Oh f***, he’s that guy? Ever since the franchise’s inception DOA has been infamous for its emphasis on The Guy Game’s main selling point. Now that doesn’t mean it isn’t a legitimately good fighting game. People adore this series for the gameplay. It just so happens to be a legitimately good fighting game that’s also pro-breast. And now we’re up to Dead or Alive 6 and developers at Team Ninja have stated they wanted to focus more so on being a competitively viable fighting game and less so on Now does this mean all the has been removed from DOA6? No. But still if you’re a fan of the you may be a little miffed by this direction, but you may be happy to know that there’s a full game out there with just the After the release of Dead or Alive 3 on the original Xbox, It happened. Techmo decided to butter up Dead or Alive’s most iconic element and release it for $50. Oh man, I love volleyball! Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball. Man, you can’t get less beach volleyball than this! Putting this game on my shelf may make me feel like I have to clean all games surrounding it, but let’s not focus on all THIS and let’s just focus on all this. Featuring Dennis Rodman Well, there you go. It meets the quota. Oh man, we can gamble at the casino in this game! That’s a pleasant surprise I wasn’t expecting! That’s the same feeling I get whenever I open up the newspaper! Oh s***, they got Dilbert in this thing?! Here we go! Just a quick closed disc tray button away from the polygons of my dreams! But we gotta know what we’re getting into before things get too f***y. The instruction manual has some great tips to live life by like: “like is like” and “dislike is dislike” and “use the A button to return the ball.” Now of course, you may ask why am I resorting to real life virtual women this Valentine’s Day? I could always try out dating apps. I could download Bumble! It’s like Tinder for when you run out of matches on Tinder. Or I could try meeting somebody in person F*** Kotomi’s looking REALLY good after saying that! All right, let’s play the Spike 2003 Video Game Awards Winner for Best Animation and oh, Sorry, human women, you’ve had a good run. But this game may help me in my quest to complete my character arc. I’m finally gonna get e-laid! This opening movie shows us everything DOA Xtreme has in store for us: We can look at women and look at women. And now onto the story. After Dead or Alive 3, Zack gets crazy rich at the Casino, buys an island and invites the girls there. They reach the having a story quota too, this game won’t stop. And here we have the ladies of Dead or Alive: Blinky, Inky, Pinky, Clyde, they’ve got em all. I have to pick my favorite girl of the bunch and we have all this fun information displayed! Hey, “age not available”! That’s Dead or Alive lingo for We’ll go with Tina. She’s from America, which means she probably speaks English. No offence to the other girls, I just don’t want our marriage to fall apart after 10 years due to the language barrier. Tina’s great! She plays Donkey Kong Barrel Blast and has salmonella. Moving on to the island and son of a bitch that whole let’s go with an American Girl tactic to get an english-speaking woman fell apart, everybody speaks Japanese. It’s okay. Team Ninja was one step ahead of us and we get some great subtitles. This review is coming along nicely. Lisa’s our little friend and we can start the vacation off by heading to the accessory shop and spending some of our Zack bucks and some trinkets. I have 10k to start and I think two bottles of nail polish remover will do the trick. Let’s head to the poolside next. This is great. You think the guy that programmed Math Grand Prix knew video games would become this? Oh, man, there’s a mini game I can play! *A Whole lotta S***s * *Even more S***s * I’ve had so many gaming accomplishments, like I almost beat Kirby Star Allies and I can’t even get through the hopping game! After various attempts… I did it. Now into three-sixth of the title, some Xtreme Beach Volleyball! Yeah, that’s volleyball. We even have a dedicated oggle button when one of the teams win. Pop that finger ever the trigger button and BAM! These matches can get intense and by that, I mean they never end. Of course one of the main gameplay mechanics Xtreme has is trying to befriend the other girls to play with you and be your teammate I couldn’t do it. We’re sticking to Lisa. I mean the volleyball portion of the game is fine, but why play volleyball when you could gamble? Anybody ever go to a casino that’s not related to Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball? Yeah, those things are fun, I love playing slot machines and seeing if they deem me worthy enough to make 10 cents back. Casinos need like a Captain Commando cabinet or something. Slot machines don’t cut it. Yeah, I think the most interesting part of the casino is probably the table game. So let’s do some blackjack. I don’t know what’s going on here. But these words are making me pretty happy. So I’m gonna keep doing it. Say what you will about Team Ninja but those guys know how to pick a font. Roulette, so this is what all-in looks like! Yeah I lost. Back in my room, Zack gave me crabs and I think I’m gonna spread it This generosity needs to go all over the island. I’m sending two bottles of nail polish remover to some other girls Well s***. On to another day of poolside, volleyball, gambling, goodnight! Poolside, volleyball, gambling, goodnight! *”poolside, volleyball, gambling, goodnight” starts overlapping* *”poolside, volleyball, gambling, goodnight” still overlaps* JESUS CHRIST! I at least need to change the song selection. We’re a Baha Men household. Even with the song change, I think I’ve gotten about as much out of DOAXBV as I can muster. “But Scott!” you may squeal, “You can play the hopping game again!” Well, it is true, I can also get leprosy so really anything’s possible. Even when you try to swoon over the other girls to be your friend, it’s just the same thing over and over again. Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball is an oggling simulator and not much else. We can play volleyball, gamble and play volleyball There are three more of these games. At the time of its release, however, it got fairly great reviews. I mean, it’s everything us male gamers want in a volleyball game: stimulating activities, a killer soundtrack, Dennis Rodman. And honestly, the graphics for the time are crazy impressive, like this game looks better than some of the games coming out today. But when Playboy out of all publications gives your game a 7.4 out of 10 that’s when you know, oh wow, even Playboy can see through this s***. What a way to spend the week of Valentine’s Day, living it up playing Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball Wow, just saying that hurt. Imagine actually doing it. It’s pathetic. I should really start contributing more to the human race. Maybe I should start protesting and demanding changes to society. We eliminate the number 4 and replace it with the letter H! Outlaw headphone jacks. Foot gloves. Penguin. Flight. School. Stamps: for stamps. The MPAA should rate shirts. Reclassify aspartame as a vegetable. Make R a vowel!

David Frank

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100 COMMENTS

  1. Splash Squad Posted on April 24, 2019 at 4:04 am

    What about mortal combat I say that before dead or alive

    Reply
  2. Dogeyness Posted on April 28, 2019 at 5:39 am

    my mom is H9 years old

    Reply
  3. Deuce Moncura Posted on April 28, 2019 at 9:17 am

    Am I at the darker part of the internet?

    Reply
  4. Tiny Rogerts Posted on April 29, 2019 at 4:01 am

    Wtf happened to itagaki's face

    Reply
  5. Death_ Ripper69420 Posted on April 29, 2019 at 10:44 pm

    Does that paper say Yean? Or yeah?

    Reply
  6. mAtThEw KeArNz Posted on May 5, 2019 at 2:33 am

    3:50😂

    Reply
  7. Lukas Draxl Posted on May 9, 2019 at 1:40 pm

    dat moment when "outlaw headphone jacks" got too real in phones

    Reply
  8. fishtouch Posted on May 10, 2019 at 6:05 am

    MAKE R A VOWEL

    Reply
  9. BubbaSteve Garcia Posted on May 10, 2019 at 2:50 pm

    Pure wholesome content! 😂 😂

    Reply
  10. Gaming boiboi Posted on May 13, 2019 at 3:45 am

    First fighting game that came in mind, street fighter… The second? Fucking Mortal Kombat not Dead or Alive…

    Reply
  11. Cesar Molina Posted on May 14, 2019 at 3:25 am

    Today is Dennis Rodman's birthday

    Reply
  12. KingofEcchiTv Posted on May 22, 2019 at 12:42 am

    im not gonna lie, this is definitely me when i dont pay child support

    Reply
  13. Tommy Posted on May 22, 2019 at 6:02 am

    Need this backwards compatible on the Xbox One

    Reply
  14. PsychoAway Posted on May 22, 2019 at 11:48 pm

    H/10 review.

    Reply
  15. Yuri ' Posted on May 23, 2019 at 12:22 am

    To those who dont want to read it says "Yeah'' on the back of the page.

    Reply
  16. Yuri ' Posted on May 23, 2019 at 12:26 am

    When i think Fighting Game i think:
    1. Mortal Kombat
    2. Street Fighter
    3. Smash Bros.
    4. Dead or Alive
    5. YouTube comment section

    Reply
  17. Sean Wilkinson Posted on May 23, 2019 at 10:50 pm

    The entire DOA series should've come with a custom single-handed controller.

    Yeah, overdone joke…I'll go now.

    Reply
  18. Vince Brown Posted on May 26, 2019 at 9:04 pm

    that dishwasher thing was so funny

    Reply
  19. The Chef Boo (Andrew) Posted on May 27, 2019 at 10:36 pm

    I think this is the Hth time I watched this.
    Also, foot gloves are just socks

    Reply
  20. Randominator Posted on May 28, 2019 at 5:23 am

    He mentions virginity in every video

    Reply
  21. ゆうしゃ Posted on May 28, 2019 at 7:21 pm

    HDTV 480p

    Reply
  22. James Tomato Posted on May 29, 2019 at 3:39 pm

    Replace the number 4, with the letter H? Now that something I can get behind!

    Reply
  23. Ophi 2 Posted on May 30, 2019 at 5:41 am

    M A K E R A V O W E L

    Reply
  24. ScaryKitten Posted on May 30, 2019 at 5:55 am

    Lol never knew dead or alive was originally a fighting game

    Reply
  25. Nicholas Posted on June 2, 2019 at 4:26 am

    imagine a male focused version of this. Focused entirely on dicks. On dudes being really friendly with each other. All wearing tight swimwear. Every time someone moves their dick jiggles. There is a button dedicated to jiggling dicks. The camera is hyper focused on dicks. A bunch of beefy men running around almost naked….. shit Id buy this

    Reply
  26. I live in my parent's basement Posted on June 2, 2019 at 8:01 pm

    Hooray for virginity!!

    Reply
  27. UltraSeals Posted on June 5, 2019 at 6:02 am

    Please make a sequel for the other games

    Reply
  28. Mészáros Levi Posted on June 8, 2019 at 6:42 pm

    yeon or yean?
    0:06

    Reply
  29. Alex Andreba Posted on June 9, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    1. Street Fighter
    2. Mortal Kombat
    3. Maybee Dead or Alive

    Reply
  30. Raphi edge Posted on June 10, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    Bought this game as a kid for 10€ in the sale wnd we played it with 4 players every night till school next morning 😀

    Reply
  31. Tala_CCC Posted on June 10, 2019 at 5:11 pm

    Well spiderman movies are not for ever

    Reply
  32. Theblacksheepwriter Posted on June 11, 2019 at 3:23 pm

    I would be very happy to find you at Grindr, lol

    Reply
  33. Thatgaming Guy Posted on June 11, 2019 at 11:31 pm

    Street fighter is probably the first thing you think of when the term fighting game gets thrown at you

    Smash bros: am I a joke to you?

    Reply
  34. ShadowEagle75 Posted on June 14, 2019 at 4:01 pm

    Fine, I’ll make my own fighting game! With blackjack and… technically not hookers?

    Reply
  35. Spicy Mario Bois Posted on June 17, 2019 at 12:49 pm

    Just make Scott a member of Congress already

    Reply
  36. Gian Devara Posted on June 20, 2019 at 5:03 pm

    1, 2, 3, h, 5, 6, 7, 8-

    … Wait, this is illegal!

    Reply
  37. Umbra Posted on June 20, 2019 at 8:30 pm

    Why do you sound so much like Topher Grace?

    Reply
  38. The Truth Posted on June 21, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    I remember playing this game on my cousin Xbox and apparently he has the one with naked mod.
    My childhood changed after that

    Reply
  39. ilulu Honoka Kosaka Posted on June 22, 2019 at 2:03 am

    I remember dead or alive

    Reply
  40. DarthBreh Posted on June 24, 2019 at 11:36 am

    and now on your Switch!

    Reply
  41. Freshprincews Posted on June 26, 2019 at 3:44 am

    1:46 “lets not focus on all THIS”
    proceeds to point to coochie

    Reply
  42. Caleb Posted on June 27, 2019 at 3:31 am

    "The NBAA should bring shirts." I couldn't agree more.

    Reply
  43. Digbick Posted on June 29, 2019 at 7:12 pm

    Sex? The fuck is that

    Reply
  44. Nysguy2003 Posted on July 2, 2019 at 2:42 am

    1:52 That whole 480p HDTV support!!!

    Reply
  45. BeeLy1011 Posted on July 3, 2019 at 9:56 pm

    My friend actually grew up with this game.

    I'm not joking. He played the multiplayer mode with his sister, as well as the fighting game series.

    Reply
  46. yumikio ? Posted on July 3, 2019 at 10:57 pm

    Id unironically play this
    Its like senran kagura
    But more real looking

    Reply
  47. JonJonPJ Posted on July 4, 2019 at 9:23 pm

    Wanted Dead or Alive

    Bon Jovi

    It's all the same, only the names will change

    Everyday, it seems we're wastin' away

    Another place where the faces are so cold

    I drive all night just to get back home

    I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride

    I'm wanted dead or alive

    Wanted dead or alive

    Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days

    The people I meet always go their separate ways

    Sometimes you tell the day

    By the bottle that you drink

    And times when you're all alone all you do is think

    I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride

    I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive

    Wanted (wanted) dead or alive

    Oh, and I ride

    Oh, and I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride

    I'm wanted dead or alive

    I walk these streets

    A loaded six-string on my back

    I play for keeps 'cause I might not make it back

    I been everywhere, still, I'm standing tall

    I've seen a million faces

    And I've rocked them all

    I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride

    I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive

    I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side

    I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive

    And I ride, dead or alive

    I still drive (I still drive) dead or alive

    Dead or alive, dead or alive, dead or alive, dead or alive

    Reply
  48. Peter Frazier Posted on July 7, 2019 at 12:46 am

    Penguin flight school is my new daily prayer

    Reply
  49. matchingbird Posted on July 8, 2019 at 11:22 am

    I’m sad to say that this game looks better than Pokémon sword and shield.

    Reply
  50. Des Gardius 2012 Posted on July 8, 2019 at 9:07 pm

    I’m friends with Tomonobu Itagaki on Facebook, lol!

    Reply
  51. Robin Posted on July 9, 2019 at 5:43 am

    The hopping game is the Dark Souls of hopping games.

    Reply
  52. k z Posted on July 10, 2019 at 7:40 am

    O fuck they got Dennis im sold

    Reply
  53. Justin Orlando Posted on July 11, 2019 at 12:56 am

    Don’t fell bad Scatt, i thought it was pronounced beans too.

    Reply
  54. Gordon Flynn Posted on July 12, 2019 at 12:07 am

    i laughed that hard i shit myself…….

    ….. nope, it was just left over chocolate from last week that i didn't notice that i sat on and melted between the chair and my cheeks.

    wait…. corn chocolate? i don't remember trying that one.

    Reply
  55. McMaster1471 Posted on July 12, 2019 at 3:50 pm

    “I can also get leprosy, so anything is possible” is legit one of the best jokes i’ve heard this month lol

    Reply
  56. zeldalord master Posted on July 14, 2019 at 10:30 pm

    No i would choose mortal kombat

    Reply
  57. Pmike404 Posted on July 16, 2019 at 2:56 pm

    The intros and out outros for each video are done so well.

    Reply
  58. X Skid Posted on July 21, 2019 at 5:35 pm

    K SCOTT THIS IS THE WHY LIST. YOU LIKE NO DISLIKE HMMMM.?.

    Reply
  59. XOXAR9 Posted on July 26, 2019 at 7:29 am

    6:22 Mista would be proud

    Reply
  60. Swirly Trainz Posted on July 29, 2019 at 4:48 am

    Stamps for stamps

    Reply
  61. T4piok4 Posted on August 2, 2019 at 3:15 pm

    6:22
    " We eliminatd the number 4 "
    GUIDO MISTA WANTS TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION

    Reply
  62. Fishlord Posted on August 3, 2019 at 7:12 am

    “I can also get leprosy so anything’s possible”
    Actually, only 5% of people these days are able to even get leprosy, and it’s really hard to contract even if you are part of that 5%

    Reply
  63. Aidan Redding Posted on August 6, 2019 at 2:23 am

    Hey Society! Do this!
    We eliminate the number 4, and replace it with the letter H
    Outlaw headphone jacks
    Foot gloves
    Penguin flight school
    Stamps, for stamps
    The MPAA should rate shirts
    Reclassify aspartame as a vegetable
    Make R a vowel

    Reply
  64. Texelion 3D prints Posted on August 7, 2019 at 10:26 am

    Imagine this game nowadays :
    – you could spend real money at the casino
    – you'd have to buy fake currency with real money to buy accessories/gifts/lootboxes
    – you could buy a costume for 10 bucks, or pay 4 bucks to unblock a color swap
    – characters would be locked behind a paywall or season pass and not even available at launch
    – it would be censored/toned down to appease the SJW crowd who don't even play the game

    i love modern day gaming.

    Reply
  65. KayFiOS Posted on August 7, 2019 at 1:34 pm

    [Sees thumbnail]
    [Grabs lotion]

    Reply
  66. Jackamomo Posted on August 8, 2019 at 12:21 am

    You can contract leprosy but you need to live in close contact with someone infected and untreated for years. So it's possible but quite a time commitment.

    Reply
  67. TacoPizzaFortniteGamer Posted on August 16, 2019 at 6:32 am

    heh heh i think i know why we're all here……..
    lolol

    Reply
  68. Coman Aphmau Posted on August 18, 2019 at 12:43 pm

    You're so funny! I literally sat here like half an hour not moving and listening to your funny jokes. Continue the good work

    Reply
  69. Digbick Posted on August 23, 2019 at 5:02 am

    Sex? Never heard of it 😎😎😎

    Reply
  70. KingTigerFire Posted on August 24, 2019 at 6:16 pm

    More people probably think of mortal kombat than dead or alive

    Reply
  71. Thomas .Herm Posted on August 26, 2019 at 1:14 am

    I'm surprised no one talked about the M O D C O M M U N I T Y

    Reply
  72. 89 Dragons Posted on August 26, 2019 at 1:20 am

    MAKE R A VOWE DAMNIT!

    Reply
  73. Kyle White Posted on August 26, 2019 at 2:00 am

    6:26 “outlaw headphone jacks.”

    Apple “way ahead of ya.”

    Reply
  74. Helli Hellwig Posted on August 26, 2019 at 4:03 am

    it kinda bothers me that my name is in there

    Reply
  75. ZeroKami86 Posted on August 26, 2019 at 5:13 am

    I was addicted to DOA:XBV when it came out, I still haven't played another good volleyball game, which is sad.

    Reply
  76. Oskar Kej Posted on August 29, 2019 at 7:23 am

    I'd tather say tekken

    Reply
  77. Will Dayer Posted on August 30, 2019 at 1:21 am

    every joke was ok except for the pac man reference that was funny

    Reply
  78. Marcus Galeano Posted on September 3, 2019 at 11:37 pm

    “Age: Not Available”
    Wtf Japan

    Reply
  79. JugheadJones67 Posted on September 6, 2019 at 1:53 am

    “Outlaw headphone jacks”
    looks at modern phones
    Well looks like they listened

    Reply
  80. THATBOSSGAMER Posted on September 15, 2019 at 4:51 am

    I honestly love dead or alive just for the fighting but the boobs are fun on a good drunk night with friends 😂😂😂

    Reply
  81. Edward Morgan Posted on September 18, 2019 at 9:18 pm

    "I'm finally gonna get e-laid!"

    Reply
  82. overpoweredmeowmix Posted on September 21, 2019 at 3:58 pm

    Outlaw headphone jacks?
    Apple: WRITE THAT DOWN!

    Reply
  83. the9file Posted on September 25, 2019 at 5:08 am

    the guy game's main selling point: "age unavailable"

    Reply
  84. Kaiwave Posted on September 25, 2019 at 2:49 pm

    Scott: 6:25

    Apple: Way ahead of ya, buddy

    Reply
  85. My name's Pete Posted on September 27, 2019 at 2:29 am

    6:22 Mista approves!

    Reply
  86. Stupid Jaosn Posted on September 29, 2019 at 2:50 pm

    Apple be like 6:25

    Reply
  87. Lolotov Spocktale Posted on September 30, 2019 at 2:57 am

    I WANT "MAKE R A VOWEL" ON A SHIRT

    Reply
  88. TheSpyroFan12 Posted on October 3, 2019 at 4:49 pm

    So there are seriously H of these games?

    I changed my mind, bring back 4.

    Reply
  89. nickie banchou Posted on October 4, 2019 at 11:32 am

    this is the only game that made me aware of the fact that the XBOX buttons are pressure-sensitive …. :O

    Reply
  90. SoggyHotDoggy Posted on October 5, 2019 at 12:31 pm

    The one gaming achievement that would top beating Halo on Legendary? Playing this game with your family present. Now THAT would put some hair on your chest.

    Reply
  91. Kruemmelbande The Cat Posted on October 5, 2019 at 8:50 pm

    I have dead or alive dimensions… Got it bcuz i bought my 3ds with some games…. That guy had the Nintendo anime channel installed…. It wasnt homebrewd…. Who doesemt homebrew their 3ds?

    Reply
  92. JKZEROkenji Mb Posted on October 7, 2019 at 12:14 pm

    To me DOA is hentai

    Reply
  93. Nario Posted on October 10, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    6:24–6:26 OH WAIR! That already happened!

    I want my headphone jacks back, Scott! 🤬

    Reply
  94. Gavin Ramsden Posted on October 15, 2019 at 2:44 am

    Scott: "Outlaw headphone jacks"
    Apple: Write that down, write that down!

    Reply
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