April 3, 2020
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Referees Help Coaches With Rapport – Parents Behaving Badly Playlist With Coach Dom Costa

Hi from Coach Dom Costa this one is for
referees and it’s a story about how a coach got two technicals got kicked out
of the gym but I think with a little verbal judo and empathy we kind of
helped transform him and he wanted to transform himself that was important too
I just had to show that picture in the back it’s so cool long story short
gentleman had two sons in the league at two different divisions and he’s new to
the league and the draft as I mentioned before is everything and he didn’t get a
super-duper team and he got frustrated in his older son’s game and started to
come onto the court and he got a technical for that and then he said some
unkind words to my other official referee and I teed him for that and it
was it was his second one he had to leave the gym and because I ref there every
day I coached I mean I should say I didn’t coach by I refereed every game of
every team in that league throughout the whole season and I saw him the next day
and I told him hey look and you know I try to create a relationship create
rapport because I’m there all the time we don’t need to be adversaries I’m a
human who’s trying his best to help you and to help this game because without me
it’s just a practice so I told him look you have the right to disagree to get
excited to be passionate you might even get a technical once in a while but do
me a favor because he had other children do not under any circumstances get
kicked out of this gym ever again don’t let your kids see you lose it that bad I
think you’re a good dad and I don’t think that’s the example I’m getting a
feeling that you’d like to give your kids and to his credit the rest of the
season not that my words were you know did it
maybe it helped a little but he wanted to do it and he did a even better job
with both of his teams and was very compassionate and helpful to the kids
and got them to be the best basketball players they could be so I just want to
share that with referees especially if you have to be at a certain park or gym
and you’re gonna see the same kids all the time not crossing the
boundaries just creating a little bit of rapport and let everyone know hey I’m
hustling I’m here for you guys I’m gonna try my best
there’s gonna be calls you like calls you don’t like but I will hustle and try
to make this a very competitive contest that’s gonna be well administered by me
the referee so hit the links below I always got a few things a book or two
that you could check out with more information videos on my other youtube
playlists about the same topic so go out there and be a passionate compassionate
empathetic referee and create those relationships and be kind and respectful
to your coaches it tends to be a honey Empire they get better and they do a
better job with their kids and most of all better with you and a better event
for everyone involved thank you for watching!

David Frank