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TALKING TO WOMEN MADE EASY | The “Empty Mind Paradox” | How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say


when you’re really worried about running
out of things to say or drying up in a conversation with a girl it can be
really hard to actually focus on the stuff that you want to focus on like
attracting her flirting with her having fun and all
that good stuff so in this video I want to share with you some tools that will
help you to just get that basic thing of being comfortable in the conversation
never run out of things to say having a good time being able to talk forever out
of the way so that you can then build the rest on top so basically how to
become an effortless conversationalist that’s what this video is all about my
name is Stephan Erdman if you’re here for the first time hit that subscribe button
and that notification spell as well so that you get the updates when I upload
new videos this channel is all about how to attract beautiful women in a natural
authentic way that feels good for you and for her running out of things to say
or drying up in conversation whatever you want to call it is one of those big
fears that guys have and it’s one of those fears with the fear of running out
of things to say is a lot worse than actually running out of things to say
now a lot of guys are really excited about trying out new techniques to
attract women flirt with women and all that good stuff but the problem is if
you try these things out but you are not generally just comfortable having a
conversation underneath it all and being effortless and free in the process
you’re going to struggle to implement those things because you are going to be
more focused on oh what am I going to say next so in order to actually be able
to learn any of the attraction techniques
flirting and and some of the really cool stuff that you can do with women and
that make it fun for her and for you and get you guys having amazing sexual
chemistry in the process you need to get the basics first need to feel
effortlessly able to hold a conversation now a little while ago I read a really
interesting book and it’s the inner game of tennis by Timothy Galway it’s a bit
of a classic from the past of sports psychology and you know self-help I
guess as well one of the main ideas in the book is that you are going to play
better if you stop talking to yourself with your conscious mind and let your
unconscious mine take over and to me it’s a lot
about emptying your mind and I’ve tried it out on the tennis court
it helps I tried it out in life it helps but this idea of basically emptying your
mind to let your instincts take over is crucial to be good at sports but also to
be good in conversations and dealing with social situations especially
talking to women for example is all about emptying your mind in a weird kind
of way now you might say well I have to cram my mind full of ideas and thoughts
and topics that I can talk about well that’s funny because actually the
opposite is true your subconscious knows how to handle
the situation how to respond how to talk how to bring things up how to have fun
it’s your conscious mind in most cases that tends to interfere in the process
and you start censoring yourself stopping yourself from saying what
actually is the intuitive thing you want to say and you turn into this kind of
bad version of yourself that we all know of ourselves when we get all tongue-tied
we’re tense and just generally just unpleasant to be around now
here a couple of tips that I want to give you in order to train yourself to
empty your mind because hey it’s just an idea right and to your mind how do you
do that so these are three steps I want you to try okay number one step is the
following I want you to get your timer on your phone everybody has a smartphone
these days put it for five minutes and then record yourself once a day in the
morning ideally to talk for five minutes out loud whatever comes into your mind
so you don’t censor yourself okay it’s basically imagine you switch off your
mind and you just talk out loud and react to the stimuli around you okay
so I’ve talked about this in the past and one or two videos I believe over the
last couple of years it’s a great way to get started to actually just talk out
loud without thinking and after a while usually you learn that you can just
carry on talking and sentences come out don’t just make gibberish noises here
okay but just you know react to what you see look
and who there’s something on the wall that’s interesting okay well the light
and there’s a bit of a light ring when I look away from this light okay and so
you just talk out loud for five minutes and just keep going don’t stop yourself
keep going you want to prove to yourself that you
can talk without censoring yourself once you have got some comfort with that and
some you’re good at it and you’re doing it and then you want to use that in
social situations that doesn’t mean you have to keep talking all the time but
basically maintain the same mindset of emptying your mind not thinking ahead
not thinking about what you just said but just be in the moment that’s where
this puts you okay and speak from that same mindset and then when you get
comfortable with that you go to step number three and you have that sensation
in your mind and you’re focusing on that same thing when you’re with women that
you’re interested in and then for a while just forget about the outcome just
focus on the ability to maintain that state when you’re just not censoring
yourself when you are just talking out loud
whatever comes into your mind and I know a lot of guys are worried about just
profanities coming out or just them saying outrageous things which is
hilarious I don’t know why we always think that that’s happening no you’re
gonna adjust to what’s happening a little bit and it doesn’t mean that you
have to keep talking all the time but you want to maintain that state where
you could keep talking all the time yeah and you are completely in flow because
that’s where this puts you in and right now don’t skip the first two steps here
because I know what guys always want to do they want to go to the last step
quickly where they get the girl and stuff yeah but honestly if you don’t do
the basics if this is an issue if you’re honest and you feel anxiety sometimes in
a conversation then this is an issue for you and so you need to get the basics
right and when you’ve got the basics right and you have that general ability
to just feel comfortable in conversation and keep going and just effortlessly add
or not add just according to what feels right at the point then it’s time to go
to the next step and learn more about attracting women flirting with women
conversation techniques that seduce women and for that of course you can go
get my opinion 2.0 the art of verbal foreplay program
that’s when things get really exciting because then you have a system that you
can use effortlessly to basically seduce women whenever you want to that’s it
so there’s a link here if you want more good to talk to you today I hope this
video was useful and I’m really looking forward to hearing your thoughts here
below all right I see you guys later

David Frank

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18 COMMENTS

  1. Stakker Humanoid Posted on December 14, 2018 at 5:08 pm

    1st. Firsted. Thank you for reading this important comment.

    Reply
  2. Grandmastergav86 Posted on December 14, 2018 at 6:43 pm

    Talking is easy but the simple facts of the matter are if you're not good looking enough or moneyed enough you'd have no chance with most women.

    Reply
  3. Румен Бонев Posted on December 14, 2018 at 7:50 pm

    Talk 5 min without censoring myself. React to what i see around me!

    Reply
  4. Румен Бонев Posted on December 14, 2018 at 7:51 pm

    Do it in social situations. Empy my mind and don't think about what i am goinh to say.

    Reply
  5. Румен Бонев Posted on December 14, 2018 at 7:51 pm

    Talk to women without censoring myself and just try to keep this state where i can keep talking.

    Reply
  6. Coach Glen Byrne Posted on December 14, 2018 at 9:29 pm

    Men ask the questions and women do the talking 80/20 ratio

    Reply
  7. Hache 007 Posted on December 14, 2018 at 11:44 pm

    Penthouse in Pyongyang here i come! Woohoo.

    Reply
  8. Jonathan Fisher Posted on December 14, 2018 at 11:44 pm

    Stephen you always have solid good advice.

    Reply
  9. prafullit medi Posted on December 15, 2018 at 12:55 am

    One of my BIG *SS crushes just texted me “hey what’s up “ one hour ago. My back story is, she’s my classmate whth whom I used to hang out alone a lot but she had a boyfriend as well and so 4 months ago I told her “ I wanna be honest with you that I don’t see you just as a friend and I think I like you “ and she did acknowledge my gesture and ever since we never texted each other.

    Now what should I do. I am very excited and I don’t know what to reply and when to reply

    Reply
  10. Copenhagen dip Posted on December 15, 2018 at 5:30 am

    I accidentally caught a girl eye

    Reply
  11. Dilermando Reis Posted on December 15, 2018 at 8:40 am

    Interesting.

    Reply
  12. Shpinga let Posted on December 15, 2018 at 10:12 am

    You can talk all the time being with a girl IF you are not a bad person, pervert or whatever. Because if you are then you're gonna spoil it with your perverty and badness.

    You should work on yourself before trying talking all the time. You should become a great person first.

    Reply
  13. lidko Helis Posted on December 15, 2018 at 10:25 pm

    ultra instinct !

    Reply
  14. Johann Kok Posted on December 16, 2018 at 5:34 am

    Awesome advice. As an introvert making smalltalk is always a bit challenging so I'm going to apply this advice even in the business world.

    Reply
  15. murphsviews Posted on December 16, 2018 at 3:46 pm

    This is good advice.

    I used to play a lot of golf and there is I would say a similar book for golf called "Quantum Golf", which is likewise all about freeing your mind and letting go, and getting "in the moment/zone".

    I was someone who always overthought things and got in my own way and I found it hugely helpful for my golf game, and then I applied the same principles when I played tennis and table tennis- to excellent effect- and I can definitely see how it could help in conversation, as well as in anything in life, really.

    You just have to trust what comes to you and let it out. Don't second guess yourself. Then things will really start to flow.

    As En Vogue sang, free your mind, and the rest will follow!

    And here's the thing for those who are scared that they'll run out of things to say. What's the worst thing that will happen if you do?

    Will it be the first time someone had ever run out of things to say? No. It happens all the time.

    So it's no big deal, but if you do run out, you don't need to feel embarrassed about it, or let things get awkward, with uncomfortable silence, because one thing you can do if you run out is just admit it to her.

    Just say something like "you know what, I've run out of ideas for what to talk about here, sorry, I'm really nervous/shy/not very good at this, etc", and that can really take a load off your mind, and perhaps prompt her to lead the conversation for a while, until you come up with something new to talk about or ask her, and you letting your guard down like that and showing your vulnerability will also show her that you are a really genuine guy, who's making a real effort and cares, and not necessarily just someone who is looking to make her another notch on his belt, or whatever.

    It's something that could help you to both relax and let your guards down a bit and hopefully the conversation will flow better from there.

    Reply
  16. bndk amarxu Posted on December 17, 2018 at 5:51 pm

    Hey stephen. How can i show a girl that i have only friendly intentions ?

    Reply
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