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Wrestle-Gay-nia: Lucha Underground


welcome to Wrestle-Gay-nia your favorite
queer wrestling recap show for Jetspace Magazine I’m El Sanchez and I’m Val
Nigro I love wrestling and I tolerate it because I’m just nice like that inaccurate this episode we watched season 1 episode
1 of lucha underground which I was very excited to see because I’ve actually
never watched it weirdly enough it is strange because I’m Mexican and I love
wrestle and I love Lucha Libre it’s Mexican so let’s talk about a couple
things about before we get into lucha underground 1 Lucha Libre is Mexican
style wrestling but basically Lucha Libre translates in English to be free
fight free fighting kind of so it’s just wrestling but and wrestlers are called
Luchadores but not all Mexican wrestlers that are Luchadores
our masked wrestlers I think most people associate luchadores with enmascaros
which are the masked wrestlers or enmascaras because there’s also a female
or with appropriative American film Nacho Libre starring Jack Black just had
to say it oh God right okay yeah it’s the only correct
thing in Nacho Libre that exists is that that a lot of Mexicans are Catholic
and a lot of Mexicans love elotes which is the corn on the cob but they
nailed that yeah they nailed that part I would fucking knife a person that
threw my elote on the street so that’s true you’ve seen that movie the
one thing that kind of sets apart this site style of wrestling from let’s say
WWE which is what we generally watch is that one the the storylines are very
dramatic like they have very soap opera set up yes specifically this show we’re
talking about lucha underground the promos are like telenovelas yeah they’re
very dramatic it’s great it’s great and so the characters are really kind of
they’re not even necessarily fleshed out but they’re just they’re dedicated to
these characters the kayfabe is so intense that some of the dudes
especially the mass wrestlers they do not remove their mass in public life at
all so some these people you don’t know their real names it’s awesome did I get
sweaty in there yeah I mean they have to some of them will be like I watched it
like their documentary where one dude that’s a famous Lucia door was like I
wear my mask 18 hours of the day like in the shower probably damn that’s so intense there about so it’s great plus the as
far as the physicality of it goes there’s a lot more high-flying acrobatic
moves a lot of like stuff that almost looks like breakdancing yeah it’s way
more acrobatic yeah more flamboyant a lot of likely interlocking hand touching
and fingers which right this just has like a cool rhythm to it I thought oh
yeah so just like slamming giant bodies into each other over here again it’s
definitely not so much about big people like big muscley people as much as it is
about like high-flying moves so short people can really get into it but it’s
really great you should watch more of it if you can’t as you can this show good
example of it yeah I really enjoyed it and I also like that they that everyone
got progressively dirtier as the matches went on cuz they would like they’re
underground so like the whole thing was just covered in dirt that got smeared
all over them awesome the show we watched lucha underground so
there is a background to it first of all Robert Rodriguez is an executive
producer that’s important and the show is like not it’s not set in Mexico it’s
set in like I think it’s Boyle Heights California as we’re in suburban California
yeah it’s where the temple is so it’s where this arena is that’s called lucha
underground so it’s kind of similar to raw and smackdown and then it’s a live
event that people can come watch of the wrestling show and then it’s a show and
there are promos in between and characters and stuff the only difference
is lucha underground is regularly at the same place which is basically stylized
like an Aztec temple yeah they might have actually filmed the legends of the
Hidden Temple there too there is a lot of talk about Aztec warriors and stuff
in the storyline the guy that runs the whole thing is a character played by an
actor his name is Diego Cueto or something like that yeah Dario Cueto
yeah and he’s like Vince McMahon of the show he’s the one that was the slicked
back hair yeah he’s like I built this temple and
he is always you know excited more about the bad guys by the way in luchador
wrestling Lucha Libre the good guys are técnicos and the bad guys are rudos
technicos are just like technical wrestler that follows the rules and bad guys yeah
so it’s like baby face heel first match we have Blue Demon jr. versus Chavo Guerrero jr. I’m just gonna call him Chavo
yeah or Chavo yeah um the heavyweights right they were big guys well yeah that
meeting guys this is an interesting match to start a show with because we’re
talking about two legends like I’m in ins em ball yeah literally
you’re not sorry sorry they’re both like from dynasties wrestling dynasties I
mean Blue Demon jr. obviously Blue Demon is his father Blue Demon is like a icon
in Mexican culture he’s part of the big three it’s El Santo Blue Demon middle
mascota sort of however you say his name I don’t really know about him but El
Santo Blue Demon my dad talked about these people like they were Superman –
Batman I think they’re like they’re like such a sort of named after El Santo sort
of Blue Demon huge icon in Mexican culture he was a luchador who like who
wore a mask and he wore it like every day all the time but people didn’t know
his actual real name and stuff but he was in movies and everything he was just
a huge huge deal so this is his son who’s apparently in his 50s yeah it’s
very agile look it was really cool they didn’t like at one point there was a a
baseball slide kick to the face there was
there was a hand hand stump or foot stomping of fingers I was kind of like
old-timey really yeah I mean Blue Demon jr. follows his dad kind of in the
traditional look he has mask is the plain color tights he’s got a cape
traditional look he’s wrestling Chavo Guerrero a big huge Mexican
family dynasty and wrestling you know you probably know if you watch any
wrestling Eddie Guerrero’s really famous wrestler in WWE that’s his uncle
there’s a bunch Gory’s like the patriarch there’s Chavo his dad who was
a famous wrestler mondo his uncle is the one who trained the women from glow
that’s cool action that’s connection and if you want to connect it to now his
cousin shall but she goes by Raquel Diaz or something like that
she’s married to Adan English who’s the opera singer guy that isn’t a tag-team
in recess listen you’re like a beautiful mind wrestling stuff I feel I feel
transformed but anyway doesn’t a bag blue diamond jr. one of course thank God
yeah he stomped he stomped Chavo in just a mission yeah it was great really
awesome match there’s a really good story yeah next match we have some epic there had
to be like a lone wolf guy yeah son of havoc versus sexy star lady
wrestler yeah yeah it’s a mixed match one which because every other like
wrestling promotion outside of WWE leads men and women wrestle each other yeah
they were like she rushes men women big small very poly I love it yeah
it’s cool son of havoc just looks like like a one of those like executioner’s
from us yeah he’s just gonna like it like drop the fuckin yeah hatchet what
he’s like I’m not wrestling no woman and she’s like I’m here to wrestle for every
woman that’s ever needed a hero so he never can be afraid again and I’m like
in tears oh yeah her her promo before it was was pump is inspirational um yeah
and his his back stories like they say that he resides from resides from the
open road that’s they said hailing from the open road was in a van sexy star
though is important thing to note recently came under fire in the
wrestling community really hard because she participated in a match in
Mexico that was an all women’s match it’s like a four-way or something and
her and another wrestler who I think his name was Lady Shani or something like
that they were like wrestling but actually kind of secretly trying to hurt
each other like having an actual fight in the ring and then when sexy star was
wrestling another girl named rosemary totally not involved I guess she was
just still pissed about this other thing she wants she won her bide like she
would beat her by submission or something but then she held her arm bar
like way past like in an armbar way past did she was supposed to and she was
broke her arm and everybody was really pissed she got banned from a bunch of
wrestling stuff after that she lost the mesh which I’m really pissed about and
triggered because he’s like the son of havoc like the world
face down to the mat and I was like fuck you piece of shit plus he cheated he
pulled her tights when he was Tet like when he was tagging her and so not
tagging her when he had her pin which is a cheap move yeah it makes it easier for
you to have someone pins I was outraged I almost just turned it off right there
but I push through for you and for our loyal fan for feminism and for feminism
yeah the final match of the show or this episode or the main event there’s only
three matches that was interesting but the main event is Johnny mundo versus Prince
Puma which is pretty cool pretty awesome so Johnny mundo is a master of parkour
yeah very respectable and then principle is that was this debut match right yeah
Prince Puma is just cool Prince awesome yeah is a really cool restaurants for
all Japan under ricochets very good but but for in spuma this is him in bass
yeah and he has what it takes yeah but could he beat the master of parkour
Johnny mundo based in LA literally wearing ed hardy pants with built in fur
nothing said parkour about this dude this dude bread to me is like Shawn
Michaels yeah Velveeta or Kid Rock so yeah with the cape but they definitely
went all in and it was some pretty pretty badass moves yeah this was a
really good match it lasted the longest which makes sense this is the main event
but it was long not one point the crowd started chanting this is awesome and I
was like wow nice nod to the WWE yeah Prince who did a lot of classic and
updated sick ass fucking luchador moves one of which he likes was outside the
ring did like a backflip thing where he just landed on one bent knee yeah like a
fucking cat and he was just like what’s up yeah and he was like flips of the
face a lot of the spin kicks around like just swinging around a person’s neck
basically and then knocking him over it was so cool it was a really fun
match but with all those moves aside he still lost
yeah Johnny mundo prevailed then there was a whole huge thing at the end where
he didn’t end up getting the hundred thousand dollars in the suitcase because
these oh he’s like dudes and cargo pants came out of nowhere and sir just beating
the crap out of that oh yeah there was a well the match was presented as if
Johnny mundo he’s supposed to be the technical or the face is a good guy and
then Prince Puma was hired by some shady promoter or whatever named Conan but
there’s a there’s a long telenovelas style thing about it but that that Dario
hired or whatever but he supposed to come in and beat Johnny mundo who’s his
hero who he doesn’t like because he’s a hero you know
but then prince puma at the end you know decided clearly that he respected johnny
mundo yeah and they had like a hands shook hands and hugged and then all
these like cholos came out and I’m saying cholos not in a way that I’m
assuming they literally said the announcer is called them street thugs
they came out and beat up the two dudes and then Tyra was like hey yes I was
like these guys also work for me and that was the kind out in in so yeah so
to be completely hanger now we have Val’s famous new segment famously titled
Val investigates in which Val’s gonna talk to us about the Prince of parkour
Johnny mundo ya know again a critically acclaimed master of parkour he’s been in
a lot of lot of various wrestling leagues and he changes his name he
changes just his last name each time so he’s been like Johnny Blaze Johnny Depp
Johnny blah blah blah they’re all ripoffs oh yeah he a was in a parkour
action film called Boone so we’ll definitely have to catch that yeah
parkour with a plot who knew and he’s also an inspiring excuse me
if both inspiring and aspiring improv comic which i think is spinning
because the thing about an improv is kind of the parkour of comedy it is very
you has to get from point A to point B and make a big fucking fuss about it
make sure everyone cares yeah but you can’t drop it but perhaps a bit dorky
but ultimately entertaining sure so I eagerly await this improv career I feel
like improv and parkour the same way that someone starts doing it you go what
do you do I can’t wait for me to do improv comedy wall park chorong like
yeah I will definitely watch like I’ll definitely watch an action film of death
so he’s in conclusion a crossover star jumping from building building and
you’re like why don’t you just take this and now we’re gonna hear from El Sanchez
on their conspiracy theory corner segment it’s just conspiracy corner so
it’s alliterated okay well that was a little improv parkour off the cuff so sue me
I was inspired by Johnny Mundo back to conspiracy so for conspiracy corner this time
we’re talking about yes demons again not vampires but demons
demons we’re talking about Blue Demon jr. who the cave fan for Blue Demon jr.
is so deep that even if you look up his Wikipedia nobody knows his real name
although he is allegedly 51 years old which that’s
I don’t know and he’s supposed to be from Mexico City Mexico that’s like what
do you mean like it’s so and his dad like we said legendary luchador blue
demon but I when you see the wrestler I’ve seen him in documentaries is it the
same dude every time this is the joy this is the perfect thing with luchadores that are enmascaro is you can anyone can be in that mask you can like
it hire anyone it’s like it’s perfect you know so do I think that blue
even jr. is 51 years old no and is it because it’s actually just different
people playing in through the years no I think he’s an actual demon and I think
that he has been played by the same person this whole time who was never
gotten old listen I’m Mexican and one of the things
about being Mexican let’s be real is you know it’s opposite of other people of
color where we look like really young until we’re like 20 and then we look 48
the rest of our like and this guy’s like 51 but he looks like 32 which is suspect
his fuck if he’s like fucking supposed to be mestizo and everything I don’t
believe it for a day and you can tell me I’m wrong and I probably am that is a
generalization but I can say yeah I mean we’ve already determined that vampires
are real based on vampire couple sure but Mexican does crack at a very young
age it’s just that that doesn’t rhyme but it is it’s probably doesn’t Spanish
but the point is is blue diamond junior who is he real demon
thank you for watching Wrestle-Gay-nia for Jetspace Magazine don’t forget to like
share and subscribe I’ve been El Sanchez and I’m Val Nigro
and don’t forget demons and parkour are real

David Frank

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